That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
