This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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