You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
