question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Randomize
