I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
