Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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