I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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