At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
