The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
my poor anus
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
