my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
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