you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
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He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
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The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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