you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
