OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
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We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
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I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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