There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
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