can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Man, jail baloney is awful.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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