My first STD was from a foam party
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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