i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
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