i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
So much rum. So many feels.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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