Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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