Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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