That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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