he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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