tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
