Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
