I can text with my tongue
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
not ubering you a puppy
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
