he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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