I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Yo dont text me then not text me
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize