I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
