yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
