We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
