Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
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