The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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