i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
