So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
