why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
