i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
