Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
