corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
