I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
