this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
