she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
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I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
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I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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