Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
