i may or may not be watching the land before time
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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