Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
