My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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