Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
