You just made me feel so damn special
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
