just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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