i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Small penises have feelings too.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
