We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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