scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
