You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
