yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
