I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
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I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
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Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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