Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
