Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
