Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
