I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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