There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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