Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
the day after is always just damage control
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
We have started to decorate penises.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
