So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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