just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
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I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
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I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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