big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
