When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
