We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
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She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
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Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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